I am so achievement-oriented that sometimes I have to intentionally not set goals. My inner work revolves around learning to appreciate the process, to experience the joy of doing something just because it feeds your soul. There’s another piece to my goal-setting aversion. I’m afraid of what would happen if I took up the space required for me to make my goals a reality.
The start of this year was different. It had to be. 2017 was the most turbulent year of my life, and I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure 2018 was marked by a different kind of adventure. So I curled up with a notebook and began to dream about all that the coming year would bring for myself and for my two businesses. I dreamed the kinds of dreams that I tell my friends and clients to dream–expansive ones that feel just out of reach.
And then I got really clear about what was in my power to make them happen. There’s a certain gravity that comes with stating your intentions as you put pen to paper. I leaned into it, feeling a nervous energy as I outlined the work I would do over the course of this year. It feels strange to call it work because the action items are all quite enjoyable.
As I turned dreams into baby steps, I had a thought, “I will be prolific in 2018.” I pushed that thought back into the furthest corner of my mind because being prolific was not for people like me. It was for the accomplished, for the people with awards and accolades and letters behind their name. It felt both vain and terrifying to associate myself with the word. Terrifying because I was basically signing myself up for a year of disciplined creativity, and vain because I was holding myself accountable for actually sharing my work with the world.
I happened to be reading the Secrets of Six Figure Women at the time. The very fact that I started reading the book was a small miracle. It was a gift from a speaker at a conference I attended. I still squirm as I read the title. Wanting to make a comfortable living felt materialistic, and, as the book states, that’s one of the reasons women end up underearning. That and fear. One of the key premises of the book is this: “Feel the fear. Have the doubts. Do it anyway.”
My first step to “doing it” was to look up the word prolific. The definition gave me the encouragement I needed. Being prolific was about bearing fruit. And bearing fruit is a good thing. Fruits bring sweetness and nourishment and refreshment. It doesn’t matter if they are mishapen. There are uses for fruit that are underripe and overripe. Fruit is meant to be shared.
I would have left things there, with well-intended word choice that would be forgotten by March, if not for a workshop on building a mantra for the year, hosted by my friend Amelia Hruby. I left that workshop with a mantra and a rekindled purpose.
My mantra? Embody abundance. The more more I meditate on it, the more I love it. This year, I want to see the world through the lens of there being more than enough. There is more than enough time for me to do the things I want to do. There is more than enough space for me to fill. I have more than enough resources, and I have more than enough to share. There is more than enough room for us all to succeed. I will create more and love more and be more and more of myself, and I will be generous with the overflow.
I suspect that 2018 has a lot to teach me. The themes are already starting to emerge, and I am estatic to share as I learn. For now, here’s what I know:
– I’ll be writing on this space on the 15th and 30th. Expect to read about meaningful work, meaningful relationships, and meaningful change. Sometimes I’ll share a little extra something with the people signed up for my newsletter.
-I’ll talk branding and business over at Jubilant. I’m chipping away at some new offerings for 2018.
-I’ll empower women to live a little freer through Emancipation. I’m oh, so close to announcing a fun project that I can’t wait to share.
Cheers to a fruitful year! I’ll see you on the 30th.