We’ve created our own definitions of success and taken some time to reflect. We’re almost at the point where it’s time to set goals, but there’s one final step. We’ve got to connect to our feelings.
The reflection helped us connect to our past feelings. These tools we’ll discuss today will help us connect to how we’d like to feel going forward.
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A common approach is to choose a word of the year. I’ve done that in the past. My words of the year actually led me to create Be School.
I’ve since transitioned into using a mixture of a mantra and a core desired feeling.
New year, new mantra
My dear friend, Amelia Hruby , PhD uses the formula verb + value for the creation of mantras. (Side note: She wrote a lovely book called Fifty Feminist Mantras. Get a copy of your own, and you’ll have plenty of mantras to choose from!)
I love mantras because they give me a sense of direction, and they also unfold.
My mantra for 2021 and my 28th year is: Root deeper. Add water.
At first, I thought it meant that I shouldn’t do anything new. There’s certainly an element of being protective of my time, but it seems more like I’m supposed to get to the root of how I can best be of service.
Mantras are incredibly grounding. It’s the mental equivalent of holding a stone in my hand. They bring me into the present moment without me having to think too much, and it can do the same for you.
Core Desired Feelings
Danielle LaPorte coined the term core desired feelings in her book The Desire Map.
I often return to the Maya Angelou quote, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I think that the same applies for goals. We can work towards goals and even achieve them, but they might not bring us the feelings we seek.
It’s much easier to define your core desired feelings first. Then ask yourself if each decision or opportunity will bring you closer to or further away from your core desired feelings.
My core desired feeling for the coming year is security.
I want to be secure in who I am as a person, secure in my relationships, and secure in my finances.
Defining a mantra and a core desired feeling will make goal setting a breeze.
